Clarity Blog
Musings from My Desk
Like, if someone else was watching you move through your day like a movie — what would they say about you? What would they think? What would they feel? How would they describe you to a friend?
I’m in the middle of an ongoing conversation with someone about the words we choose to describe things.
Are the words you’re choosing conveying what you mean?
Are the sentences you string together telling the story you want to tell in the way you want to tell it?
You know the saying "doctors need doctors."
"We are so good at facilitating community organizers and volunteers, but it's clear we are not equipped to facilitate each other."
A couple organizations I'm talking to right now about have said this to me. I say it all the time too. This is completely normal!
Coaches need coaches. Healers need healers. Facilitators need facilitators. Hair dressers need hair dressers. Doctors need doctors.
Because having a facilitator guide difficult conversations, as well as strategic conversations, team building, board and strategic planning retreats is, in my expert opinion, the best investment of your team's time and organization's resources, invest the time to find a facilitator.
A friend shared recently that her organization went on a staff retreat that was just...okay.
They barely scratched the surface.
They didn't develop any plans or even a short to-do list to move ideas that emerged forward.
They didn't go deep on any of the topics.
Why did it go this way?
Everyone carved out the time to be there. They did it offsite.
There was some planning involved for sure.
But it was just meh.
Doing what I do for the ravenous, fiery, Mars-like desire to become, acquire, achieve, experience — whether for social or spiritual ascension — is the shortest end of the stick I can pick up. I’m intimately familiar with this way of doing things and how rarely fulfilling it is, if at all.
I know firsthand how this approach makes it almost impossible to feel grounded and like I have a grip on things.
I fundamentally stand for taking time to be alone. And, I am unapologetic about my desire for luxurious getaways. I worked my ass off in the service industry (restaurants, hotels and catering) and developed a strong gift for anticipating and meeting the needs of others, and I am all for doing what I need to get mine met.
I previously broke down how to take time in a way that really maximizes the experience of getting away to think, breathe and plan. Here are a few of the key questions I ask myself in advance and while on my getaways.
The very first time I experienced anxiety was about 10 years ago. Yeah, 2009. I remember being unable to pinpoint the exact cause of the incessant butterflies in my belly, and flutters and twinges in my chest, but I remember thinking for weeks, “I feel really anxious.” I realized later that it was the beginning of my relationship with what I now describe as anxiety.
A friend recently posted on Facebook a question about cultivating patience. It really resonated with me because I tend to want things to happen right away.
When I really reflect on how I practice patience, it turns out I’m growing in my abilities (thankfully!). I think patience, like meditation, non-judgement, compassion and all the other things that make us better humans, are works in forever progress. They’re practices — things we do over and over with the intention of becoming incrementally better each time.
I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with what I want my business to look like in 2020. I incorporated on November 1, 2018, unveiled on April 1, 2019, and yes, I’m already thinking about what I want to tweak, let go of, and add as the anniversary approaches.
From the outside it might be like, “But you are just getting started…”
Wanna know what the least selfish thing you can do is? Take a solo getaway.
I’m presently stationed at Sarabande Bed & Breakfast in the glorious village of Los Ranchos situated within the city boundaries of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Yes, this little village is inside of Burque, just twenty minutes from the airport and fifteen from downtown.
There is no reason at all why having what you want isn’t possible.
What do you really, really want though? This is a big and not so simple question to answer.
You can’t just arbitrarily pick goals. You really can’t. You’ll never get them and will create a habit of letting yourself down for not getting them. But don’t feel bad, they were arbitrary in the first place so no wonder you gave up.
